Cesspool of carcinogens for sale

I am horrified.

Sometime within the past year, in a haze of sleep deprivation, postpartum depression, and overwhelmingness-with-life, I decided we needed a King-sized mattress.

I wanted this so I could get some sleep.  So I could have room in the bed that now contained a squirmy, growing baby.  So I wouldn’t have to sleep on that stupid crack in the middle of our Sleep Number bed.

So we bought this.

After this thing came in the mail (yes, it came in the mail–in the form of a humongous, 100lb roll), we opened it up in our bedroom to let it expand, expecting to sleep on it within a day or two.

Instead, we were cold-cocked with the most awful chemical odor we’ve ever smelled.  I was instantly nauseated and could hardly breathe.  We had to cover the vents in the room, open the windows, and seal off the door while this thing off-gassed.


After three months, I still could not go into the room, but Alan seemed to think it was “sleepable”. So he slept on it first.

After a COUPLE MORE MONTHS, Mia, Anna and I ventured onto the mattress, and while it still smelled, we were able to fall asleep.

So finally last night, probably no less than a year later, I thought “Hmmmm…I wonder what that mattress is made of?”

And I looked it up.

I am sure you can guess what I found.  I am sleeping on the most toxic mattress available in the world.  That’s right, folks! It contains chemicals banned by the European Union for use in consumer products–chemicals known to cause neurological damage, autoimmune disorders, thyroid problems, cancer.  The list goes on.

So we have a memory foam mattress for sale.  $500 or best offer.

4 thoughts on “Cesspool of carcinogens for sale

Add yours

  1. The intelligent ad rotator put sleep number and memory foam bed advertisements under your glowing comments about them.

  2. You are a great writer, truthful and to the point…but you might be lacking in the sales department here, ha ha. Hopefully you can sell it! 🙂

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