insomnia

This happens to me at least once a month or so.

By this, I mean having a racing mind that is trying to sort things out, planning, processing, or worrying.  And by this, I mean being unable to fall asleep after trying and trying.  For hours.

Sleep is very important to my wellbeing and especially my mental health–and especially sleep before midnight.  But tonight, like so many other nights, I can’t seem to get my much-needed dose of good sleep no matter what I try.  Even though the last two nights I almost didn’t sleep at all–because Mia and Anna were sick with influenza–I just can’t seem to get into sleepland.  (They are better now.  Thank goodness.)

So what is on my mind tonight? Maybe if I write about it I can get my mind calmed so it can fall into rest mode.

Raw foods.

Juicing.

Detoxing.

Orthodontia/braces/my appointment tomorrow that I am nervous about.

Raw animal foods.

Cow’s milk vs. goat’s milk.

My burning desire to have a small farm.

My burning desire to grow my own food and be as self-sufficient as possible.

My worry about going over budget this month on the grocery bill and wondering where the money will come from to make up for it.

My worry about money.

Pondering the idea that on a global scale, we are among the richest people in the world.  And it feels ironic that so much of that money has to go toward our basic needs–because of the way that we live in our rich and abundant culture.  Richness is relative.  If we lived more simply, we wouldn’t need so much money for basic needs. Sometimes I would like to live in a grass hut in Africa and sometimes I feel like this kind of life is the richest one there is:  life without electricity or gas or television or shopping.  Sounds nice sometimes.

Trying to figure out the endless confusion about what a healthy diet is and questioning my beliefs and whether I am doing it right or not. Right now I am so very confused.  I’ve been following the Weston Price principles for years, and it makes sense to me.  I have healed and feel well, but maybe there is more to this than I thought.  I’ve realized that I haven’t eaten enough raw foods, and I am feeling drawn to eating more raw foods and to juicing.  But then there are those people who believe you shouldn’t eat animal foods at all, and then there are those people who believe you should eat only animal foods.  When I get confused about this, I always think about the traditional Eskimos, who are among the healthiest people in human history.  They ate only animal foods, but they ate their animal foods RAW.  And they did not have blenders or juicers and the frozen tundra did not produce many plant foods.  The way they ate is different from what I am doing with all of my meat (cooking it), which many people believe causes cancer.  Maybe there is not one right way; maybe there are many ways.  Kind of like everything else in life, right? Well, at least I have my raw milk and raw eggs yolks for now.  Maybe I will try making steak tartare or sushi one of these days…

Goodnight.

One thought on “insomnia

  1. I am so bummed out for you, Lisa! Ugh! What a bummer. I’ve been in the situation of being one of those *rare* reactors to things, so I know how you feel. 😦

    I think you have a great smile, Invisalign or not!

    Keep smiling!
    Love and God’s Peace,
    Rita

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