a thing I hate about myself

For as long as I remember I’ve practiced “speak before I think”.  I want to undo at least 80% of the words I say.  They are usually repetitive and useless and impulsive.

I wish I would always double check and make sure that everything I say is 100% true and not make assumptions, change stories, or say things from my imagination that are only true in my head.

When I am in vata excess, which I have been in for at least a month, I talk so much that I exhaust myself and others.  This is my 17th blog post this month; one more post and it will be my busiest month since I started blogging 3 years ago.  I think this can attest to my serious overtalking, overthinking, and generally being annoying.

I don’t want to give this any more energy by thinking or talking about it too much, but for the record, I want to be a woman of fewer words.  I want the words I use to matter.

I do not want to be annoying.  I want to love who I am when I talk. I want my husband to love me and not be annoyed with me.  I want my mind to quiet down so I can sleep a little.