waiting for change

Last week I made a life-altering decision.

I applied to grad school.  I decided to commit to spending the next three to five years becoming a clinical counselor. I have my heart set on this; if I do not get in to my top school of choice, I have a backup plan.  But I like to do what my heart is set on. My fingers are crossed.

Applying to grad school is something I have been wanting to do for some time; between having babies and Alan working on his graduate degree, the timing hasn’t been right.  I also have not been confident enough in my ability to pursue this degree or in the financial undertaking of paying for it. Until now.  I am sure this is what I want to do, and I am sure that I can do it.

Alan finishes his professional degree for principal licensure at the end of the summer.  He will be free to begin his new career in educational administration as soon as the right job comes his way.  Anna will be 3 1/2 and there is no new baby in the making.  Life will be roomier.  For the first time in a long time, there will be room for me.

I am not sure whether I will be able to maintain my work as a home health care provider.  I have a feeling I may have to pass my wonderful position onto someone new.  It will be a hard change.  Everything comes and goes in its own time and with its own purpose, and to let new things into my life, I have to let some things go.

What I will not let go is homeschooling my children and caring for them when I am not in school.  They, along with my marriage, are my priority. I would like to keep it that way.  Balance, mindfulness, organization, and sleep will help keep the balance in check. I do hope I can manage that.

I don’t know how long before I learn whether I am accepted or denied. A patient wait begins.