Overwhelmed.

Fall and winter are vata seasons–dry and cold.  With a constitution that tends to be in vata excess, this is not the best time of year for me.  I do love the cooler weather, the quiet neighborhood, the coziness, and the fall colors.  I love sweaters and jeans and not sweating whenever I step outside.

But my mind is racing.  It utterly exhausts me. I have a gazillion ideas and things I feel I should and want to do, and overwhelmed because I don’t know where to begin.  I am worrying about a gazillion of these ideas, too.  To tame my vata excess, tonight I should have taken a nice warm bath by myself.   But instead I ate cold ice cream and went shopping for pet food.

I am overwhelmed with the demands of motherhood and I feel sometimes like there is room for nothing else in my life.  Not even homeschooling Mia, who wants a curriculum this year.  I feel pulled in so many directions, sad that I am not going to school (but also knowing it would be far too much right now), stressed about finances, feeling trapped in our upside-down house that I am desperately ready to move from, stressed about Alan’s tooth, stressed about my kids’ diets, my diet, my lack of exercise and my seeming lack of time to do any of it.

So I am going to do my affirmations.  “I am on an endless journey through eternity.  There is plenty of time.”

And here are my positive statements about what I would like to do with my life:

I exercise regularly and I love it.  I am healthy and strong and I fit my exercise into my life with ease.

I manage my finances responsibly.  I have plenty of money for needs and luxuries in my life.

I diligently work on Mia’s curriculum with her, and we enjoy it together.  I keep up.

I keep up with daily chores and my children and husband help whenever they can.

I plan meals, grocery shop within my budget, and make healthy and delicious meals that my family loves.

My children eat well and are robust and healthy.  They are happy.

Mia’s allergies disappear and she is healthy and strong.

Alan gets his tooth taken care of, pronto.

Ahhhh.  That feels better.

Goodnight.

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