I think I have come to the conclusion that I must end a major relationship in my life. I think.
And that is my relationship with Facebook.
I have done this before, 4 times to be exact. Why I keep going back, I do not know.
The feelings that Facebook gives me are these: inadequacy, invasion of privacy, guilt, regret, anger, frustration, fear of being disliked for who I am. I feel like I am always at a party, like I have nowhere to hide and get some peace and quiet.
Then there is the occasional good feeling I get from being connected to my relatives that live far away or friends I do not see on a regular basis, and the good feeling of sharing something important to me and getting positive feedback. And I suppose that is what has kept me coming back.
Facebook takes up an extraordinary amount of my time and mental energy, and in the time I have been a Facebook user, I have regretfully given more time to Facebook than individualized, deliberate time with my children. And I emphasize this: regretfully.
Can I keep in touch with the people in my life without Facebook? I do not know. I do hope so, on a certain level, at least.
Can I be happy without Facebook in my life? Absolutely. Happier than I’ve been since Facebook peered its alluring face into my already full life.
I know that some people may be sad. Others may not give a flying fart. Others may be happy about it.
I want to live a peaceful and private life, one in which I live for me. One in which I have the emotional energy to care for my children and family with my whole heart, one in which I am not put into inner turmoil over possibly saying the wrong thing and offending someone or reading other people’s upsetting posts. I want to live without all of that. I want a life without drama.
Do I leave quietly or with warning? Will I stick to my guns even when people beg me to stay?
We will see.