How do I make peace with fighting?

My kids fight so many times per day that I can’t even count it.  They have good times, too, where they hug and kiss and love each other and can cooperate.  Anna is so sensitive that she cries for long periods of time after a fight with Mia.  It is utterly exhausting and I am so tired of it.  It drains me and makes me depressed.  I feel trapped in my own home and I want to escape.

I don’t think fighting is normal or natural or necessary.  I believe this because of the book, The Continuum Concept.  Because our society is based on individual achievement and competition and we live relatively isolated from our communities, I understand that the tribal concept described in the book cannot be replicated here.  The tribal people in the book do not fight.  They are harmonious and peaceful and they know their place in their tribe.

I wish I could live without fighting.  Sometimes I wish I were deaf so I didn’t have to listen to it.  On the other hand, I fight a lot with Alan.  We make up after each fight.  We grow and gain wisdom from our fights. Maybe the freedom to fight and express ourselves is a kind of freedom that the tribal people in The Continuum Concept do not have.  Maybe the price of freedom is having to listen to and engage in fighting.

Either way, what am I going to do over the next three months where there will be fighting every single damn day? I am worried I will lose my mind or maybe run away.

 

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