I am starting another new beginning. As usual, it is exciting and anxiety-provoking. New beginnings bring up old doubts and fears–mostly of not being good enough and of inevitably failing at the new task at hand.
I am no longer a caregiver for the elderly woman I’ve been with for over 3 years. Next week, I will begin my new job as a mental health intern. I will be there for one year, and then move on to intern at another site.
In the meantime, I will be continuing my coursework, taking care of my family, cleaning my house, planning, shopping and making meals, and hopefully having some fun with my husband and kids–and hopefully be able to take care of myself in the process. It’s all about balance, I suppose. I am not sure if I have that figured out yet.
I’m also waiting to attend my first birth as a doula–another area that brings up the what-ifs of being good enough and of being a failure.
I’ve been recording my dreams the last two mornings, and am learning from them based on the Adlerian framework in which I am being trained in my studies.
A year has passed since I took my special trip to Denmark with my dad–it is and will always be one of my most cherished memories. I have yet to go through the photos and get them on my hard drive. Somehow those technical projects always end up on the back burner. I guess I am not a techie kind of person by nature.
I’ve been thinking a lot about social interest–another part of the groundwork of Adlerian psychology. This has had my trying to speak less and listen more, and to think about how blogs and Facebook can push us into self-absorption rather than social interest, ironically. This has me moving in a direction that is different from where I’ve been moving in the past, and I like it. I am building my own sense of social interest and decreasing my need to feel unique and noticed.
Alan spent his whole summer break putting new siding on our house. It looks so cute. We’ve both fallen in love with our “new” house and are so glad it happened. The summer went by so quickly because of it, though, and we’re all a little sad it’s almost over.
I shredded my two credit cards and am going to attempt to get back to a cash-only system. Financial management is so important and anyone can do it–right? It’s one of my greatest struggles, though; I’ve always been a spender. I want to be a saver now, and a debt-payer-off-er! I also want to be smart and frugal with meal planning. It’s so hard. I love variety and convenience, and those are not cheap.
Being back on Facebook has been good and sometimes wasteful. I feel better about it than I used to and don’t get as affected by negativity on there anymore, but I tend to comment too much and “like” too much. Again, I would like to work on listening more and speaking less. I have such a need to be heard. Why is that?