Good and crappy.

Anna is sick.  Again.  She has been sick on and off for 4 weeks with fever and bronchitis.  Mia and Alan had it but are all better now.  Anna is still fighting it.

My anxiety goes through the roof when my kids are sick, and even when my husband is sick. I panic sometimes.  In fact, tonight I took an Ativan, which I try to rarely do, to get myself back together.  It is hard to give a sick child loving attention when you are a nervous wreck.

What I am afraid of is losing her.  My mind goes right to the worst case scenario and I lose sight of all objectivity.  Right now it is just bronchitis, but what if it becomes more than that?

I am  overwhelmed right now, but in a manageable way.  I will keep walking the walk.  Marriage, children, managing a household, interning, kid in Kindergarten, grad school–all those things cause stress for me.  And probably for most people.  Now, how to manage that without losing myself or driving my husband away–that’s what I need to figure out.

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