Winter solstice and inner peace.

Tonight, the Northern hemisphere will experience the longest night of the year.  The metaphor of going into the darkness and coming into more light each day is something I like to reflect on each year.  This is a turning point.  We are closer to spring, closer to light, and closer to a new year.

And, since I love astrology, let me share what is going on today, astrologically speaking:

New moon in Capricorn and sun enters Capricorn:

“The Sun’s entrance into this earthy sign marks the Winter Solstice. Then, only two hours later, a new Moon in Capricorn brings a fresh start! During this magical day, reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re headed. Do you know what you’d like to achieve in the year ahead? Just like the mountain goat that is Capricorn’s own symbol, set your sights high as you put together a step-by-step plan. No matter which metaphorical peak you’d like to climb, if you take the first step, you’ll be amazed at what you’ll be able to achieve by the time the Sun leaves Capricorn and enters Aquarius on January 20!”

From Astrology.com

There is change and a new beginning happening.  I had an amazing experience last week that I want to write here so I remember it.

I couldn’t put my finger on how or why I felt different, until I went last week for my checkup with Steve Tonsager of Flowing Rivers Acupuncture.  He practices Field Control Therapy, which is a kind of energetic analysis and treatment of the body (which is an energy field).  He is able to detect our state of being, or what our energetic resonance is.

I have been going to see Steve at his clinic for probably 7 years.  Each time I have gone, I have not felt well emotionally, and sometimes I have not felt well physically.

This time I felt well.  And he told me that before I had a chance to say so.

When I laid down on the table and he checked me, he said “You are feeling pretty good, aren’t you?”

And for the first time in 7 years of going there 2-4 times per year, I did not have anything “wrong with me”.  I did not need a single vial (this is what he gives for his treatments–they are vials of drop you put under your tongue).  I cried.  It was monumental.

He told me my resonance has changed.  Since he’s been treating me, I have been in the resonance of suffering and the resonance of the ego.  And I’ve shifted.  I am now in the space of willingness and openness.  It is the place where growth happens.

That moment with Steve was a turning point.  I am so grateful.  I am so grateful to him and all of the help he’s given me over the years.  I am grateful to God and the Universe for the guidance I have been given to find my way out of the suffering and into this new place.

I should also write that I had two appointments with an intuitive energy therapist named Michele Mayama the week before seeing Steve.  It was incredible, and I am quite certain those sessions helped me solidify this new place I am in, with new boundaries and a stronger sense of self.

I have less anxiety and fear where I am now.  I have a greater ability to live in the moment and enjoy what I experience through my senses.  My senses are not clouded over by racing thoughts.  I have more faith that things will work out.  I have faith that I can handle my life.  As a result, my digestion has been quite good and I’ve hardly needed to take any digestive enzymes.  I have a great deal more energy.  I am sleeping and falling asleep better than before.  My teeth are far less sensitive.  I feel very little inner turmoil about the past, about my religion, and about what others think of me.  I talk in front of a group. It’s quite nice here.

I am starting to experience firsthand what Louise Hay has been saying all along, and also what Alfred Adler said so many years ago: we create our own problems and we are our own solution. It also makes me think of the verse in the Bible that tells us that all we need is faith the size of a mustard seed.  Anything is possible.

Being in a non-suffering state, I am emitting an energy field that is more positive than it has been before.  I will be able to have a more positive affect on those around me and especially those who live with me.  I want to keep that going.  I want to be positive.  And, this is the place I want to be as a therapist, for my clients.  In a clearer place where I am not distracted by mistaken beliefs and where a healing space can exist.

***

So, I have been seeing couples and families at my internship.   I love the work.  I especially love the family work.  I feel so grateful to have this opportunity to experience the kind of work I’m doing there, and I am grateful for my increasing ability to enter sessions with a clear head and open heart.

I have lost patience with my children’s fighting and with the general sense that I am responsible for most of the housework.  I feel much better about it now than I did before because I no longer take it personally, as if they didn’t love or appreciate me.  Now I see that I take more responsibility both by default and by choice, and I am now taking responsibility for encouraging them to crank it up a notch.  Sometimes I am not very nice about it, and I regret that.  When my kids fight, I get angry and shameful a lot of the time.  I regret that, too.  And unlike before, I do not feel like a “bad person” because of what I have done–and I still have the desire to change and improve upon it.

***

In honor os winter solstice and the new moon and sun in Capricorn, this is what I would like to open up my life to in the coming year:

Fun and life enjoyment

Laughter, joy and silliness

Daily yoga and walking outside

Inner peace and gratitude

Harmonious children and family

Healthy and enjoyable foods

Satisfying work

Personal growth

Becoming an effective therapist

Completing my master’s paper before it’s due date

Graduating with my MA in the fall of 2015

Deepening my Sandplay practice/learning

Energy medicine and mental health practice/learning

Deepen my spirituality

Financial growth and stability

Satisfaction with relationships

Being on the path to opening my own practice to welcome families, mothers, pregnant women, babies and children, adolescents, trauma healing, birth, and Sandplay, in a studio space attached to my home that is convenient for me and is a beautiful, light-filled space with good energy.

Unconditional love.

Happy Solstice, everyone!  Thank you for reading my blog.  I am grateful for you, too.

xo

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