We are in Gemini.

It’s Gemini time, and its rushing through me like a mad wind.  I feel energized and alive, spontaneous, excited, chatty and social–almost manic, but not quite.  I have to hold back or I overwhelm Alan pretty quickly.  So instead of talking his ear off, I will expend my energy here on my blog and this little blurb will be all about me and my random thoughts.

It’s a good thing I am feeling so lively, because our life needs my energy right now.  We are getting our house ready for the market, getting ready for summer vacation, and I am working on my own things regarding my internship and my thesis.

My thesis topic has evolved and I have not started writing it yet.  It takes me so long to settle and commit to something like this, and I think I will be there soon.  It will be something like “An Adlerian Analysis of Family of Origin Trauma in Adults and an EMDR-based Treatment Protocol”.  I am still working out the specifics with my awesome chairperson, Dr. Richard Close.

Anna has the beginnings of scoliosis, and fortunately it should be correctable with orthotic shoe inserts.  She started wearing them last week.  I have the same problem and the same inserts, but because I’m no longer growing, there might not be a great deal of change in my spine.  We will see.

I am pretty eager to be done wearing braces.  Not eating normal foods or drinking coffee (it stains them) it getting to be old.  And I keep breaking my brackets and having to have them replaced, which is time-consuming and not fun.

I am excited for my birthday next week and I am fortunate enough to have the day off from my internship, so hopefully I will spend the day doing enjoyable things to celebrate my one and only day of the year that can be just about me 🙂

I may be switching internships, because an opportunity landed in my lap that might be just what I’ve been waiting for.  We will see what happens.

Peace in my heart, and a big decision that has been made.

Today was a beautiful day, and the grief and unrest I wrote about have calmed.  I have peace in my heart today, and remember that I am not entitled to people being how I want them to be.  I am privileged to know them as they are, and I can choose to simply love them.  I am grateful to have that love in my heart.  I am grateful my parents are still in this world.  I am grateful I have two sisters with whom I hope to share many more years with.

My girls and Alan made me breakfast in bed and showered me with homemade cards and a garland of paper cranes.  It was absolutely lovely and delightful.  I felt so loved.  That love reminded me of how quickly sadness and grief can be soothed.  Love is a great healer.

Alan and I made a decision tonight, and it feels good to us both.  We feel settled, finally, and that we can rest about this inner turmoil we’ve had for many months.  Our girls will stay at the same school next year.  We canceled Anna’s enrollment to the charter school.

We will stay in the area we live in now.  We will still try to sell the house and move to a bigger house, but if the house does not sell, it’s ok.  The girls have their same school and their same community.  It feels safe and good.  Alan’s job will still change, and our house might change.  But we have the same community.

Love and peace to all of you, if any of you read this anymore 🙂