Last week I attended a silent retreat that was held by Judith Lies, a therapist and mindfulness instructor in the Twin Cities. It was a beautiful and life-altering experience.
During my time there, it struck me that my two year anniversary of leaving “the church” would occur during the retreat. This probably doesn’t sound like a big deal to most people…except those who have been a part of a fundamentalist church and left it.
Leaving is a big deal and can take a long time to recover from. It can take even longer for family members to get used to the change. So, it feels so good to be on this side of “leaving.” Spending my two-year anniversary at a beautiful retreat was a lovely way to celebrate my freedom.
After I came back from the retreat, I went to a Sunday morning service at a regular Lutheran church. It was really beautiful. There was beautiful music in a beautiful chapel and it brought tears to my eyes and warmed me. It felt so good there. Like I was at home in my heart.
I don’t plan to subscribe to a religion again. It feels like I’ve divorced from a long and toxic relationship and have finally learned how to be happy by myself and to explore life with an open heart. But, I guess I’ll always be some version of a Scandinavian Lutheran person. And that feels okay to me.