The Present

I am 39 years old.  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

Winter is cold, but not too cold to take Anna ice skating.

I am glad Mercury is direct again and hope my vivid dreams will take a vacation for a while.

While many awakenings have happened for me in recent years, there is still more to figure out, such as:

Why am I so easily hurt by my husband? 

Why these perceived hurts so difficult for me to resolve and move beyond? 

How do I know what is reasonable to ask of others versus doing it myself?

Gratitude is the answer to easing the discomfort.  So is yoga and laughing and music and walking outside and long hugs. Still, I am seeking answers.

In the meantime, I am grateful for a husband who can hurt my feelings sometimes and who makes me laugh and feel safe nearly all the time. I am grateful for my children whom I have the privilege of knowing and loving. I am grateful for a safe, warm home with a dog and a cat and two Christmas trees. I am grateful to have these things to fill my heart.

Photos from today:

Goodnight.

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