One year

This month marks one year since our governor mandated shutdowns in the name of coronavirus. Mask mandates shortly followed and are still in place statewide. Children are now required to wear masks all day at school, at recess, and while playing sports. Everyone else is required to wear a mask while inside of public buildings,... Continue Reading →

Snowy Night

by Mary Oliver Last night, an owlin the blue darktossed an indeterminate number of carefully shaped sounds intothe world, in which,a quarter of a mile away, I happenedto be standing. I couldn’t tellwhich one it was –the barred or the great-hornedship of the air –it was that distant. But, anyway,aren’t there momentsthat are better than... Continue Reading →

We survived.

I have been thinking about time and how things happen that change us.  We can never go back and be who we were before.  Change is painful and humbling.  It is beautiful, too.  Change can wake us and open us--as long as we roll with it and not resist. About five years ago, the universe... Continue Reading →

I’m happy.

I feel like I have to hold my breath to make this feeling last.  I am happy. I guess it's more than a feeling.  It's a state of being that I don't usually have.  There is contentment and gratitude and faith that things are the way they are supposed to be. Last week I had... Continue Reading →

Life is a rollercoaster

Extreme ups and downs can exist simultaneously. This is something I haven't realized until recently. I feel both love and joy when I think of my dad, and also grief and sadness. It's such a complicated mixture of feelings. It takes a lot of energy to experience this and I am starting to wonder how... Continue Reading →

Vinyl

A part of my soul that was lost years ago has been returned. Today while I was napping, Alan went out and bought a record player and some used records to add to a little collection we started recently. He showed off the new purchase by playing Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer." It transported me... Continue Reading →

Everything is temporary.

Since learning about my dad's illness, grief comes and goes in waves.  Sometimes the waves overcome me and make me stop what I am doing. Then I cry and feel the intensity of that wave.  Like surfing.  It goes up and comes back down again. Through this process, there has been an increasing sense of... Continue Reading →

Engagement, revisited.

On September 14, 1998, Alan asked me on a date outside the large ensemble room at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire.  I nervously accepted. On September 16, 1998, Alan and I had our first date and spent some time at a park on a little lake called Half Moon Lake.  On October 31, 1999, Alan proposed... Continue Reading →

Optimistic

I visited my parents today, all by myself.  No kids, no dog, no siblings.  I can't remember the last time I did that.  It was special and memorable. My dad looked and acted like his usual self and has handled things well.  He begins chemo on Monday. I feel hopeful, especially compared to yesterday.  I... Continue Reading →

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